Ridin' the Cheese Wagon

Yesterday was Jessica's first day to board the "cheese wagon" to Kindergarten without me. We stood out at the end of the lane. With a growl and a zoom it shot right past us! I took her to school unaware of the matag of emotion I had avoided. I got things squared away with the transportation dept.
Again this morning, we stood hand in hand at the end of the lane; red hooded sweater "zipped up like Misto Wajors ( Mr. Rogers)" , skrunchy bun hair, and a pink Kungfoo Panda backpack. The cheese wagon came this time. She climbed on the bus and walked down the isle looking for a seat. As she went farther and farther toward the back of the bus the kids got bigger and bigger and so did the pounding in my chest. She slid into a seat and pressed her nose to the window and waved and waved and waved. I waved and waved and waved until I couldn't see the bus anymore. Then I sobbed. I walked back to the house and sobbed some more. It's not so much that Jess is growing up, but the safety issue. I want her to have all of these new experiences, but I know some of them are going to be hard. If she gets on the wrong bus, or someone doesn't want her on their team or what ever. Will she make good choices even when it's hard? I wonder if Heavenly Father felt this way when we left Him.
I painted the porch and watched for the bus. I trimmed the roses and watched for the bus. It finally came. She held my hand as we walked up the lane to the house( Yep. I ran down the lane to the bus stop. I probably scared the bus driver. I didn't realize it until I got to the gates!).
Jess told me all about the nice kid on the bus who told the bus driver she was in K-garten so she could get on the correct bus. Snickering she told me that she farted on the bus on the way home but the 2 girls she was sitting by didn't know because she was quiet. I seriously doubt that! I don't think SBD's are going to help her win friends and influence people!
With a little lunch, a nap and some perspective, things are good.