An Intersection of Thoughts on Crazy Blvd.

Jessica has learned to read. She knew lost of sight words and her dear Kindergarten teacher gave her a toolbox of deciphering skills. She was ready to go but didn't realize it. I pulled out a Sally, Dick, and Jane book of books and told her she could read it. She realized she could. I've heard that book over 20 times...unabridged. That has led to many other things. I'm really proud of her.
The second part is this; Jess has a propensity to name things with adjectives, fro example, red ear, red necklace, Pink Paint Face, etc.( It will be interesting to find out what she has named my grandchildren. I will definitely make sure I give her a baby name book.)
Here's the intersection. Jane (Eyre), our cat, recently produce 2 happy purring balls of fuzz; both boys. We have been thinking of names for them. I told Jess she could name one and I would name one. After some deep reflection, she came up with Yellow Ear (singular...the kitten really does have 2 ears. I'm supposing she chose the singular so as not to overburden the reader or speaker with description.). We were checking on them the other day when she announced to be that she had chosen a new name ...Dick. My heart skipped a few beats. I wondered what sorts of anatomical questions would follow. How do I, with delicacy, explain to her that you can name things after some parts, but not others. There was a big enough pause for a big panic before she said "And Mom, you should name yours Sally-Tim." Whew!!! Luckily I talked her out of both!

AHHHhhhhhh......

Warmer weather has come our way at last. Happily, there is more time spent out-of-doors. Jessica loves the dirt and the dirt loves her. Sometimes they are quite inseparable! It takes a good soaking for them to part ways. This evening I tried using Cetaphil on her little face. (It's supposed to be super duper gentle.) I stood behind her and had her lean her head back on me. I gently rubbed it around; a little facial if you will. "AHHhhh... Ahhhhhhh.....this is the life!" she said, "I only need a juicy steak!" No doubt who her daddy is!

Selectively Mean Mom

Today Jess had dance rehearsal for about 3 hours. It was a little crazy. It was also during dinner time so she was sure she would starve right to death! To make it even worse, I had to pick up a few things at the grocery store on the way home. I told her before we went in that we would be eating at home tonight...don't howl for things. I broke down and let her pick out some ice cream for an after dinner treat. ( Like it really takes any persuading for me to buy ice cream! ) She started asking for things in the check out line. I told her no and no and no. She asked me how come I am such a mean mom. I always tell her because I practice. By the time we had gotten to the car she had forgotten about the lack of extra treats and was excited about having ice cream. I told her mean moms do not share ice cream. She told me I was only a mean Kit Kat mom, not a mean ice cream mom. It's a good thing she explained it to me or she wouldn't have gotten any!

Try These!

Yesterday a friend made the cutest little dress for Jess. She's got mad sewing skills. I went to the store to get some tights to go with it for Sunday. While I'm checking out tights and things, Jess is talking to me about something. She gets louder and louder so I turn around. She's waving a bright salmon colored lacy g-string thong thing and yelling " I want to try these!" I know she wouldn't even know where to "try" them and I wasn't about to tell her. She'd never believe me. If I were able to convince her, I'd never hear the end of it and neither would her kindergarten class! Ahhh, the tender sweet moments.

The Bigger the Better

If I had any sort of contract, I would want Jessica to be involved, she's got mad arbitration skills. Anytime she asks to play before bedtime and I tell her no, she asks for just 10 minutes. This opens the door to at least SOME play time. Then she sets the gears in motion for time. If she asks for 10 and I tell her 5, she'll ask for 12 or 13. If I keep decreasing the time, she goes the opposite direction. Tonight we had one of these sorts of discussions. I was a tar-heel, 3 minutes or no minutes. She finally gave way to 3 minutes. "Fine." she said, "But can they be 3 big minutes? The others aren't enough time."

Your Sleeves are real biG...

This morning I put a cute orange-ish shirt on Jess. It's one that I like that's on the verge of too small. I thought I could get a few more wears out of it! Jess is looking from side to side at the gathered sleeves. She looks at me and says," Mom. My sleeves are real big. It looks like I have boobs on my shoulders!" (Just so you know, we don't discuss or use the words boobs at our house all of the time. We're pretty G rated really.) Nonetheless, I left the room quickly and laughed my head off!!!

Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty?

The Cinderella play was fun. The Cinderella play was very very fun. That critique from Jessica. Yesterday night was the first theatrical production Jessica has attended. She did a super job! She got to dress up like a princess and watch the story unfold. At intermission, the Fairy-Godmother collected all of the princesses and princes and they had a little parade around the theater. Then they got tot have their pictures taken in Cinderella's magical pumpkin coach. She's still repeating in was sooo much fun, it was really so much fun ...over and over in a dreamy voice. No princess could've done a better job at waving as she paraded across the stage. Did I mention she might have been a little excited. As we were getting in the car to go, she confided in me that she was so excited she might pee her pants. I made sure she went to the bathroom BEFORE the production began. We didn't reserve tickets, but I asked for good ones and we got them;dead center on the second row back. We sat by some fun people. There was the cutest little prince in dread-locks next to Jessica. She thought because he had long hair he was a girl so she asked him where his dress was. He looked at her, and indignantly replied I'M A BOY! His mom graciously offered that he sometimes likes to dress up with his girl cousins. I told Jess that he was a prince. She wanted to know where his prince clothes were. We had the discussion that it doesn't matter what a prince is wearing, he's still a prince. Quick diplomacy is challenging for me to come by, especially in front of the child of the potentially offended!
There was a part where the king wanted the wine of his country...lalala...that wine is beer! Jessica asked rather loudly" What's BEER?!!!" I told her it was unfancy wine, which is a cousin to fruit juice, but we don't drink it. We had a mini FHE lesson the night before on the Word of Wisdom. I can only imagine the loud correction the king might have received from seat B1 if I had told her it was alcohol.
The prince did kiss Cindy. Jess thought this was sort of gross, which made me happy. I told her she could kiss a boy after she had a college degree. She asked me if Cindy had one. I took some literary license and added a part where she got her doctorate. : )
Princess Jess got a little sleepy a few times and laid her head on my arm to rest.
All in all it was a fantastic time. The theater was beautiful, and the actors did a great job. The Stepsisters were superb!!!

Toe Tiffs

This morning as Jessica was getting her shoes on for school, I heard her arguing with herself about something. I asked her what was going on. She told me her toes were arguing. When she put one sock on the other foot was jealous and even more jealous when the got the shoe on. Then they were sad when the other foot got their sock and shoe on because they wanted to be the only one with a sock and a shoe. I hope she doesn't trip today while her feet are at war with each other!

Jessica Dangerfield

Last night Jess was supposed to be getting ready for bed. We were both tired. Her pj's were inside out. She knows how to turn them right side out. I explained that I'm not going to do things for her that I know she can do herself. She gave me the stink-eye and told me "You're not respecting me!" She told me that if I respected her I would just do what she wanted. It was hard not to laugh. All I could think of in my tired stupor was Rodney Dangerfield's head on Jess. I held my ground. With a very ornery look on her face she turned them the right side out and got inside of them, and got inside her bed. R-E-S-P-E-C-T sock it to 'em! I think I know the topic for the coming week's FHE lesson!

a yearning...

Martha was an average dog, until she ate some alphabet soup and the results were bazaar! The letters got mixed up and went to her brain and now she has much to say. It's a PBS show about a talking dog that Jess adores..I might like it too. They teach fantastic vocabulary in an effective way. Beyond the vocabulary. it's chucked full of moral fiber and who couldn't use some fiber? Last week, Wednesday or Thursday-ish, one of the words was "yearn". They explained that it meant to want something really badly. Jessica took it for a test drive to see how she could use it. She did a good job, and I forgot about it. Today we were watching some Saturday morning cartoons ( we really don't watch TV all of the time) an add for Chuck E. Cheese aired. With a very serious expression on her mug she told me, "Mom, I yearn for Chuck E. Cheese". I yearned for air! Hearty Guffaw!

pRoJeCts

We had a wonderful crazy weekend! Jessica had her first friend birthday party (that deserves an entry of it's own)and fun family drove a good distance to visit. It was delightful. Jess had a fantastic time with her cousins. Her uncle peeked in her room to see what kind of mischief the girls were up to. Jess told him " I'm working on a project adults can't see. Could you please leave?" Later I asked her what her top-secret project was. She was using the gift bags from her birthday party to "dress up like a rectangle". Nice project!

GROW UP!

I don't wear a watch. I used to, but I never looked at it. I forgot it was there. I got a load of stupid looks from people who were kind enough to tell the time to a girl wearing a watch. Since I can't tell the time from the angle of the sun in the house, I use PBS. Mr. Rogers comes on at 6:30 am followed by Arthur at 7:00. There are 2 episodes. Jess has to be out of bed and ready to eat breakfast by the end of Mr. Rogers. She needs to be done eating by the end of the first episode of Arthur, and dressed ready to go out the door by the end of the second one.

This morning we were getting ready for school and watching Arthur, right on schedule. Jess watched for a second and then in an exasperated tone said, " Mom, in every Arthur Kate is still a baby, Arthur is always not old enough, and DW is always four. I wish they would just grow up! Teen Arthur and prepubescent DW. I think they'd have to change networks.

Handy Jessie

The sink in Jessica's bathroom is tricky. When it's turned on, random streams of water shoot outward instead of downward into the sink. You can wash your hands and the front of your shirt at the same time. I know this sounds like a great invention for children, but sometimes it gets on the floor too. So I took the bathroom sink apart..not the entire thing, just the part where the water comes out that holds the screen thinger. Yes, as you can tell by the technical terms, I am a professional sink fixer. I cleaned the screen thinger and the rest of it, reassembled the parts (correctly!) and then tried to put it back on. I had to turn upside down to see the place to screw it in. Jessica came in to watch the show. She asked me to leave so she could use the restroom. I started on another project in the mean time and forgot all about it until later that evening. I turned the water on and it was fixed. I said I guess Steve must have gotten dowsed and decided to take matters into his own hands. Then Jessica announced that SHE had fixed it! WOW! My girl the plumber. She has the crack thing going on. I should have guessed she hand the mad assembly skills that go with it! Go Loolie!

Se Hablah Espanyol

Jess wanted to know what was for diner. I could have told her ice cream and she would have complained, so I told the truth; chicken enchiladas. OHHHHHH! she sighs. I hate chicken enchilachos! Yep, we're fluent.

She's got a nose for that!

We were on our way to Gramma Kim's house, Jess safely strapped in the back, just beginning our journey. We heard her sniffing A LOT. I asked her what she was doing. She said she was sniffing. I deserved that. Sniffing what? I asked. She was sniffing to see if it smelled like Payson yet, but it didn't. It still smelled like Idaho. I asked her when we finally arrived if it smelled like Payson. She sniffed and told me it still smelled like Idaho. I guess they have similar scents! If it were a Scentsy smell, I think it would be Dairy Air DeLight! SNIIIIFFFFF!

Transformers...more than meets the eye!

" Octopus Prime"

It's in my Mind!

This morning, rather early, Jess came in my room and wanted to get in bed with me. Really she just go tin and asked me to move over so she could have the warm blankets and the warm spot. Whatever. As long as you don't wake me all of the way up. I told her it was still the middle of the night and she could stay as long as she would just go back to sleep..no talking. She said she'd just watch a movie in her head. As long as it works, go for it. About 5 minutes later she startled and told be that she had "a terrible dream". It was about bad cowboys,who are usually good, but these were bad and they had roped us around the necks and were trying to pull our heads off. We talked about it until she felt better. Jess assured me it was just a dream and not real because she didn't want me to be scared either. She told me she was going to watch a different movie now and rolled over. She needs to schlep a remote with her in her dreams. Click!

Once there was a snowman....

Jessica's teacher starts the kids off with the days of the week and the calendar business each morning. One of the things she does with the calendar is teach them patterns. This month there are mittens and snowmen in an AAB pattern. Temperatures were subzero yesterday, and the snowman was next in the pattern. "Teacher" asked if the snowman would melt outside today. Jessica piped up and said, "NO! It's plastic!" Not only is she a genius, she's a funny bunny too!

Happy Chinese New Year!

Yesterday I was in Jessica's classroom. They were doing centers that infused ideas about the Chinese New Year celebration. I got to help them make fun hats. "Teacher" was sharing some of the traditions at her center and taught them how to say "Happy New Year" in one of the Chinese dialects. It was fun. "Teacher" has some hookups in Chins that friend-ster her with fun things she shares with the kiddos. They learned too, about their horoscopes... ones that they have on the paper place mats at some restaurants. Jessica discovered she was a sheep, and her parents were rats! We had our own little celebration that night. We made hats like Jessica's, had "Chinese" food (complete with fortune cookies), and read our horoscopes from the paper Jessica brought home. (Jessica would like like me to add that I also made " Chinese brownies" for dessert). All evening long she called me rat so I called her sheep. She wanted me to give her a sheep-back ride. I did for a minute and then I told her that sheep were bigger than rats and she should be giving me a rat-back ride. She agreed. We were by the bed so I just tumbled her to the bed and squished her a little for fun. I heard a little voice peep," Sheep can't breathe." It was hilarious! Sheep is fine.

iN ThE WiLd....

A buddy came up to spend a few days. We took Jess to see Madagascar deuce. This started the If-you-give-a-moose-a-muffin sort of one thing leads to another chain. I let Jess use her G&G Palmer b-day $ to purchase the first one. She watched a few times. Maybe a few too many times. One the way home from church she announced -I want to live in the wild. We live 5 miles out of town. There are deer and eagles and skunks and coyotes and raccoons and all sorts of bugs and dogs and cats and potatoes and horses and cows and.... I told her we already live in the wild. She told me she needed a zebra. She really just needs a zebra. Doesn't everyone need one of those?